How the Cookie Crumbles 14

Tough CookiesA week ago I heard the news story about the Girl Scouts marching in the Inaugural parade.

A week later I am still thinking about it.

Initially I started to dismiss it. I mean, there’s so much to be outraged about, what’s this one more thing? My experiences with the Girl Scouts were limited to my brief stint as a Brownie when I was 8 and my boorish boss who used to bring in his daughter’s order form for cookies and pass it around with a fake “no pressure” caveat. It certainly never seemed like the most progressive of organizations, so was I really shocked?

But then I thought, “Wait, the Girl Scouts. These people are in charge of young girls, young women. The shape their minds, they teach them things about the world, they chaperone them. They cannot be a custodian of young women and support a sexual predator at the same time.”

That statement hit me somewhere deep. Because all of our lives women are being given the message that we are not entitled to decide who can touch our bodies, that they are there to serve men, and that when someone does touch our body against our wishes it was no big deal, or our fault, or something we were probably making up. Telling little girls to march to honor Donald Trump, was just another way of sending that message.

I heard people try to parse who exactly was marching, it wasn’t the Girl Scouts, it was the National Capital Council of Girl Scouts. By the CEO’s own admission in Time it was 75 girls. Seventy-five girls being told it was an honor to parade for a man who doesn’t value women and thinks he has the right to their bodies.

Donald Trump should not be a role model for boys or girls. Period. The fact that some of this country voted for him will never change that. We are living in a time where the President of the United States cannot serve as a role model. He is a bully. He makes fun of people with disabilities. He makes racist statements. When a woman challenges him he insinuates it’s because she’s on her period. He lies. He cheats. He refuses to pay contractors and probably his taxes, not that we’ll ever know that because he refuses to release them. He incites violence. He asks other countries to hack citizens of ours. He’s not even a good businessman. He’s declared bankruptcy numerous times and is thought to be in debt to his eyeballs, not that we would know that because again, he refuses to release his tax returns.

Oh, and he is an admitted sexual predator. He forces himself on women by his own admission and by their own testimony. It was bad enough that he sexually fetishized his own daughter, called any woman who disagreed with him a pig and worse, but he also in his own words says about women “I just start kissing them,” “I don’t even wait” and “You can do anything…grab them by the pussy.”

The Girls Scouts excuse was that they’re non-partisan. No, Girl Scouts, you don’t get to be non-partisan about sexual assault. And maybe it seems like there’s so much more to be outraged about and that this shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I am so sick of no one looking out for girls. The very people who are supposed to protect them are leading them to the slaughter and colluding with their predators. And it’s not just organizations like the Girl Scouts. It’s parents, too.

And again this hits me somewhere deep. Because our parents are supposed to protect us. They’re supposed to tell us that no one has the right to touch our bodies; that we shouldn’t put up with bullies or people who are verbally abusive. They’re not supposed to vote for them to be President. It breaks my heart that there are little girls out there who are being let down by the people who are supposed to be looking out for them. If you’re a parent of a daughter and you voted for him knowing all this, I question how much you really love your daughter. You certainly don’t care if a man forces himself on her. You just told her that was OK, that you were willing to overlook it if it meant lower taxes or building a wall. At the most Trump’s presidency will last 8 years. You gave your daughter a message that she will carry with her for a lifetime. When she’s in situations where she has to look out for her own safety, she will remember that you said it was locker room talk and no big deal. She won’t leave that abusive relationship or think she has the right to say “No” or report her boss when he crosses a line. She’ll spend a lifetime trying to be physically pleasing to men: starving herself, inducing vomiting, getting surgeries, all because you valued a predator who ran a beauty contest over an intelligent woman who worked her ass off fighting for women and children.

I’d say you deserve all that heartbreak, but your daughter doesn’t, so I can’t.

The real joke is that these are the same hypocrites who want their women to be vestal virgins never in need of birth control or abortions. You’re not supposed to have pre-marital sex, but if a man wants to grab your pussy that’s totally fine as long as he’s white and Republican I guess.

Just writing this right now fills me with such a rage for the people who voted for him. We have to do better for our girls. Why do we keep telling people they can do whatever they want to them as long they don’t make our lives uncomfortable or complicated? Or do you think it will just happen to other people’s daughters? Do his comments and actions not bother you because it wasn’t you or your family? Because you’ve been taught to think it must have been someone who deserved it. There should be penance for what you did. You should have to go volunteer at a rape crisis hotline or donate all the money you save on taxes to an organization that supports sexual assault survivors. Because it’s not too late to protect our girls and for you to be a good role model for them. But first, you have to start.

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14 thoughts on “How the Cookie Crumbles

  • elsa

    This is just what I think and have said, tho not quite as eloquent. I appreciate so much the words that are written here.
    My son and daughter-in-law have a beautiful baby girl. My son was so distraught when #45 was elected because of how this will affect his little girl. He asked me “how will I be able to protect her from this awful man and men like him”. My son is a kind and wise man and I know he will instill goodness in his daughter.
    I was appalled by the Girl Scouts of America and that they had these girls march for an admitted sexual predator. Shame Shame Shame on those women who did that to them AND the parents that allowed it. I am still seething about it every time I think of it.
    Please keep writing ~ I am forever in your debt for you helping me to find my voice. I really mean that. Your first video gave me courage to speak out.


    BAM!!! Just when I thought u had said everything that needed to be said, u had let off the steam, had your catharsis…..BAM!!! You let off this bomb. You are right. I feel sorry for those Girl Scouts who will grow up and cringe every time they realise whom they marched for. The girls scout were, perhaps marching for a newly elected President of the USA. Maybe that happens every time. Every time is however, not this time. This president is Donald J Trump.

    I have watched with a sick feeling every day since he was elected, feeling worse since he has been sworn in. This President and his men lie. I mean lie. Outright. Its bizarre that the country that sent soldiers and helped allies defeat Nazis, fascism is now being led by an army of monsters who are fascists. Racism, dishonesty, unbridled naked greed and lust for money and power on an unprecedented scale. Hitler would be proud of these evil men and women.

    No the time is not to sit quietly and go ‘Tut Tut’ whilst shaking our heads disapprovingly. This is screaming time or as Marvel character The Thing says, “Its clobbering time!”.

    How do I know I am right ? I’ll tell you how, I saw millions of women march all over the world, they wore pink hats. They marched for their daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, partners for lots of women, for women in general, for all women. They all marched with anger in their hearts and fire in their eyes.

    That’s the fire we must have in our hearts and minds if people are to fight for what is right. Tough times ask for tough measures. We must never give up hope. If we want tomorrow to be better its not going to fall off a tree into our laps but people will have to fight for it.

    Keep writing Tess, your writing is inspiring. Its how people like me feel but don’t know how to put into words. Its how a lot of people have felt over the last few months and are still feeling. We need you to stay angry. Don’t walk it off, just write, make another speech but keep our war going. We need it for another 8 years minus 7 days.

    • Michael Bethards

      I agree 100% with you ,my friend. I, too,have been watching with dread and a sick feeling as every chapter in this seemingly unending, man-made catastrophe plays out!! The question I think a lot of us would love to ask is,”Why ,in God’s name,did you not think this through (because obviously you didn’t) by helping to elect this hateful monster,who with his evil cronies, are bent on destroying our country??” You’re right,and I loved your comic book reference,”It’s clobberin’ time!!”! That’s why I especially loved Melissa Benoist’s sign at the women’s march!! We’ll be fine,and we don’t necessarily have to be superheroes to see this ignorance and hatefulness destroyed!!

  • Joe Quinn

    Another awe-inspiring piece! Thank you, Tess Rafferty. Your ability to perfectly express the anger and frustration so many of us are feeling is tremendously valuable during this awful time.
    You are not alone and you continue to help the rest of us not feel so alone. Again, thank you.

  • Laura Howell

    I tried hard to think about the Girl Scouts marching but every time I tried I got sick to my stomach. The thought of young girls parading in front of him, him giving them numbers, “this one is a seven ” or “someday I’ll be dating that one” !!! I couldn’t be rational, I could only get sick.

  • Mr. Kelly Davis


    Oh Heroic Tess. Your Videos inspire. Your words are correct and beyond reproach. You do know that you are attracting a fan base of evil bastards who like to edit your videos with creepy interjections. I found those before I found out who you were. Pissed me off to know end. What kind of person will interject their own creepy voice and a stalker picture over the top of your video, Grrrrr-rrr-rrrr-rrrrr-rrr-rr-rrrr.Hack Ack. Cough. Cough.

    Anyway, Love your article. Love you in a non-creepy will vote for you when your run for President kind of way. When are you running for President. I should think 2032 would be right. You need to be a State Senator in 2020 or 2018 so you should be beginning your campaign now. The video is a really good start. You’ve got face time down and by Gum (don’t take this the wrong way) you are pretty so that means, of course, that you will win.

    When You go on to run as a California Senator, and you need to do that probably by 2024 or 2026, you will need to be investigating Oil and Gas Companies. Also, you’ve got a good thing going on men who abuse women. I mean, you are really good at poking that pig. (Turn of a phrase). I would keep that up. Nothing gets the masses going like picking on other states Senators and bad actors. Remember to always call them out on how much the caved to the Chump after he’s impeached. That’s going to fund Democrats for years.

    Anyway, When you run for President, assuming I haven’t died, or am even legally allowed to vote anymore (I might be a drooling protoplasmic mass on a table that keeps Nurfing every time a Scientist pokes me with a poker by 2032) I will vote for you. I also might be an angry old white guy (oh wait, I’m all ready an Angry Old White Guy and I’m in love with your character. So I will still vote for you.

    Keep it up Tess

    Mr. Kelly Davis

  • Velma

    Thank you so much for your writing it does express how I feel your video got my attention I would love to be able to speak as openly as you. I do politely but have to be careful as so many I know personally did for him. Some are my staff. I have openly expressed my opinion of him but I have to be careful or I can lose my job. we can still stand up and fight I’m ready I will protest I will stay informed thank you for your words

  • Judith Cotto

    Wow, thank you for this! One of the main reason I didn’t vote for him. By doing this I taught my daughter a lesson especially now that she’s fresh out of college and going into the work field. Although I have raise her to be that girl to fight for her rights and not take any crap from any man regardless of what she’s getting paid, her dignity, mind and soul are more valuable . Thank you!

  • Kato

    This is outrageous! Thank you, Tess, for bringing it to our attention. I had no idea and it is and having these young, innocent girls march in his inauguration parade is reprehensible and makes me sick.

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